In our country India, people value more to the tradition and the culture than anything else. So, interracial marriages in India like country are the cry and imbue. Because here the kid goes in that school in which his or her parent wants. In college choose those subject and stream which parent suggests. And finally Boy or Girl marries to the person whom parent selected for him or her as they are totally involved in their child’s life. Sometime they do plan their own dreams and leaves it to their children, no matter what their children want. Even after years of globalization, people’s thinking and outlook not got changed about love and love marriages. In most of the cases girl and boy do revolt against their parents and elope from home to do love marriage. But in few of the circumstances, parents get convinced to their children’s choice and do marry according to their children’s wish. Lover of same caste or religion may also have problem of convincing their family and parents.
It is a very challenging, complicated and difficult task to convince Indian family and parent about, “you want to marry your love.” It requires much efforts, skill, time and sensitivity also. Once you disclosed at home about your love and marriage it could be stressful for you both.
Few ideas for convincing your parents:
In India order of marriages event are being well decided. Girl of India can get marry any time after 18 and boy after completion of his education when he starts earning good, he becomes available for marriage.
So before revealing your love in front of your family, boys you must start earning good and if you have some good bank balance it will be plus point for you and for girl it is must that your young man is earning good. Wait for the time until these requirements are fulfilled.
It is the norm of Indian culture you can’t express your love openly in the family. Because love and dating is a taboo for traditional and conservative family. As elder thinks having a boyfriend or girlfriend may disturb their child’s study or job. So, if boy keep you secret it means he is shielding you (girl) and himself also from mental torture for the time. So, keep your love secret unless you (Boy) have secured earning and financially strong to support both of yours expenses.
Now sow the seed :
Finally the time has come when you are prepared to disclose your love and having in mind to marry her. So you can express “I know this person since long time” it will give them time to think about. Or they may have counter argument with you on “why to be with ‘X’ only” So try not to be blank in your discussion and strongly prepare earlier for such questions. For example you may express:
- You want to marry her only, no one else.
- She will care for you all very well.
- How she will serve you better.
- We need both of your blessing.
Don’t impose on them; try to have two way conversations. They may have lots of point for opposing you, so you must have worked out with all points previously.
Don’t say like “if you will not approve, we shall elope from home” it will be worst nightmare for your parents.
Let few days pass, and one day make a meeting of parents with your girlfriend suddenly. It is to demonstrate to your parent how perfect is your choice and your parent may get impressd by talking with her.
Some Manifest may work:
While convincing give them some good real life examples how ‘love marriage’ are happy and successful. And also remind them some arranged marriage examples which turned into unhappiness or divorced. Tell them how estimating mutual compatibility is necessary to live happily.
If you have doubt of even 0.01 % don’t start conversation. Try to take help of your aunty/ sister uncle or anybody to whom you are very closed and your parents trust on their judgments. Firstly introduce your lady friend to them and ask them to bring the topic with your parents.