Did I Marry His Family? 

Did I Marry His Family?

Marriage is said to be unison of two families. Apart from the couple, the families on either side also get together and form a larger family. The relation they hold to each other is similar like any other own family members. The husband treats wife’s family as his own and is same is with the wife and husband’s family. But, conflict is a part of any family. Conflict resolution is a difficult and tricky process in such occasions since ascertaining right and wrong is sometimes dependent on person’s perspective.

From the first step

Engagement is the first formal occasion where the couple and in-laws on either side come together and celebrate the upcoming marriage. At the same time, their differences in family traditions and expectations also get surfaced. It depends on who take the lead step to iron out the differences or ends up with one side getting convinced to accept the others. Most of the occasions it is the bride’s family which adjusts and adheres to groom’s family requirements. The bride should understand that these are certain events that will occur owing to the differences in cultures and particular practices. These should not be considered as issues but the realities to be lived with. Certain level understands and adjustment is called for. But, at the same time the bride and their family should be treated with utmost importance and respect. Their family traditions should be considered and accepted wherever possible.

Marriage – Full of surprises

Marriage throws many surprises to the husband, wife and their families. Here, bride’s family traditions take precedence, especially in Indian marriages. But, at the end of the marriage, the bride becomes part of the groom’s family. In inter-religion and inter-caste marriages, the surprises are many and the bride feel confused and worried in the initial days. The below suggestions may be useful –

  • The bride should take enough time to adjust and appreciate the family traditions and value them slowly

  • The relation with mother-in-law is of paramount importance and brings in comfort for the wife to adjust to the new expectations

  • The husband should support the wife during the initial days by helping her understand the different family members, traditions they follow and make an easy transition for her.

Conflict resolution during understanding differences

What so ever be the situation, conflicts are bound to occur mostly during the early days of marriage. Either the rigid practices of the husband’s family or the non-adjusting nature of the wife can lead to the conflicts. Naturally, the husband is bound to suffer during these situations where he tries to maintain some balance between his wife and his family. But, these situations will get normalized sooner or later and it is important to be patient during this stage. The one simple mantra that can be followed is to openly express the feelings with the husband and to an extent with the mother in-law. But, after expressing oneself, many of the issues or conflicts will certainly be resolved. Also, the wife’s family supports quite well during this phase explaining the girl on how to handle such situations.


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