Duribaat ritual performance, exchange of nutmeg in Kashmiri marriage 

Duribaat ritual performance, exchange of nutmeg in Kashmiri marriage

How to get a perfect match?
 
Youngsters nowadays are in haste to get hold of future better half. Though we have adopted modernization in all aspects, parents still believe in horoscope matching of the couples and verifying the background of each other’s family. This makes wedding a full-filled in all prospective. Usually the bride’s family announces the wedding date and venue.
 
Matrimonial websites do help
 
In the fast moving world, everything is available online. Matrimonial websites provide online matrimony to find a perfect match by going through the profile of each person. It has become easy to scan through online matrimony profiles according to one’s caste, community and culture. Online matrimony charges lesser than outside marriage fixing agents simplifying the marriage plan.
 
Finalization of wedding
 
Once the matching and formalities are over the wedding is finalized and the families of bride and groom agree to conduct the wedding by creating a wedding checklist. The printing of marriage invitation, couple’s dresses, venue, arrangements to be made, decorations, accessories, gifts and rituals to be performed are decided according to the wedding checklist.
 
Pre wedding events of Kashmiri marriage
 
Once the betrothal ends, duribaat takes place. Here the maternal relatives of both bride and groom’s family take part at the pre-wedding ceremony. It is similar to a formal lunch at their home. At first the bride’s family invite the maternal relatives of groom to their home and provide them a grand luncheon. It starts with milk to the traditional meal of their region. The vice versa take place at the groom’s home. The maternal side family members have to gift the couple’s family members as a token of love. The gifts may be sweets, jewels, clothes etc. 
 
Significance of Duribaat at Kashmiri marriage
 
As the marriage events are going on, mehendi designs are selected for bride and kept before the wedding. There are variety of mehendi deigns available at the internet. Duribaat is performed by the couple which implies worshipping Lord Shiva and Parvati by offering prayers and chanting mantras. This is because Lord Shiva considers his wife Parvati as an inseparable part of his soul and grants equal rights by honouring his wife Parvati in all aspects with care. Similarly the groom must treat the bride with equal respect and follow all the moral values adopted by Lord Shiva.
 
Exchange of nutmegs to symbolize friendship
 
An interesting part of Kashmiri marriage is the exchange of nutmegs. Fathers of both the bride and groom exchange nutmegs before the wedding to strengthen their friendship and care which acts as a basement for the wedlock.
 
Specialities of nutmeg
 
Nutmeg and mace are well known spices added to North Indian recipes. A food without spices doesn’t taste good enough to eat. Likewise a marriage without mutual understanding between the bride and groom’s family might have complications. Thus the nutmegs are exchanged to flavour the essence of marriage through friendship, as the nutmeg flavours the food making it worthy to eat. They promise a forever friendship and care through the nutmegs exchanged.  
 

 
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