If there is one event which can affect the complete family then it is the divorce of the parents. Though divorce is considered as a personal decision for the couple, the devastating effects are equally applicable for their children too. This is of more importance since there has been much research showing that children of divorced parents are more prone to behavioural issues, low academics, addiction to drugs and alcohol, and inclination towards crime. With such serious aftermaths, it is worthwhile to reconsider the breaking of the marriage and resort to couple options.
Reasons for marriage break ups
One of the major reasons for divorces is infidelity by either partner. This starts with one of the spouse entering into a seemingly new relation with genuine friendship to start with. But, with regular meetings, the liking is developed and can end up as extra marital affair. It is important to understand the real root cause for such incidents. There might be unmet needs of the spouse which are met with the new friend and hence a strong affinity is developed. This could be more openness, financial strength, ability to support in career or personal goals, higher sexual pleasure etc.
How children suffer in such relations
It is generally believed that if the parents are happy, their children will be happy. But, if the parents are divorced but happy, their children needn’t be happy and actually end up on wrong tracks. An affair not only costly divorce, but also ruins the children’s future. Extra marital affair affects children in numerous ways that only show up after the bad track progresses. The problem with this is that it is difficult to bring back the children on the right track and can be very costly too. Several research studies have shown the below negative effects on children with divorced parents –
- Lower academics when compared to normal children
- Personality development issues and inability to mingle in the general crowd or peers
- Inclination towards petty crimes and alliances with anti-social elements of the society
When such unwanted signs start coming, it is very important for the parent to resort to counselling and curb it initially.
Counselling for couple and children
Ending marriage may not the solution for any big issue arising among the family members. The couple should think and resort to alternatives first and validate if the relation can be maintained. The couple can attend to counselling to deep dive into their feelings and help the counsellor identify the root cause. Sometimes the couple may not be able to express the actual unmet requirement/need. Understanding and addressing such unmet and unexplainable needs is important.
If the counselling is not effective, then a proper lawyer should be employed to ensure proper division of property and alimony. Divorce attorneys are specialists who provide proper legal guidance to their clients to ensure the client is secured for the future. They discuss and provide required clauses which guarantee financial support and medical support for the children, alimony and share in existing properties.