Most of the couples who have major issues with each other and one of both of the partners are having affairs outside the marriage, decide to stay on in the relationship, simply because they do not want their children to know what is actually going on between them and get negatively affected by it. These parents may feel that they are doing their duty by hiding the facts from the children, but the truth is that children are highly perceptive by nature and are able to know immediately that there are some major problems going on within their family.
Some of the most common effects that extramarital affairs have on children are as follows:
When the parents decide the facts from their children, believing that this way they would be able to protect their children, they only end up confusing the child. The children are able to feel the tension between their parents, and when they are provided proper explanations for the same, they start to find answers for themselves. They may start discussing the problem with other friends and relatives, who may not give them a very good picture about the future of their family and this, can really scare them and push them to do something stupid and even hurt themselves. Therefore, it is important that the children should be explained everything in detail and assured that no matter how things work out between the parents, they will always be loved, protected and provided for.
Wrong Impressions about Parents
The parents may never want their children to get involved in the mess that follows an extramarital affair, but the effects of the same, tend to find their way to the kids somehow. Both the parents may try to put up a picture of a happy family in front of the kids, but the coldness present between them will eventually force one of the partners to spend more time outside the house than in the house. This brings distance between that parent and the child. Since the child does not know the actual reason for this distance, he or she may start to blame either his or her own self for the same or may start to hate the parent for not loving him or her anymore. Either way, the insecurity that creeps in the child, spoils the relationship that the child shares with his or her parents.
Whether you explain the affair to the child or not, it is always difficult for the child to accept that his or her parents do not love each other and he or she has to choose one among the two of them. This lack of acceptance makes the child develop a very negative personality, where he or she may start to have trust issues with other people, they may stop believing in concepts like love and happy family, they may lose respect for their parents and for others as well. Overall the child ends up becoming a very hard and negative person from inside.
It is important that children should be given proper counseling and extra attention, in order to help them deal better with the extramarital affairs of their parents.