How to Control Your Impulse to Blame Your Partner for Your Mess 

How to Control Your Impulse to Blame Your Partner for Your Mess

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship which exists in this world. No matter how much love and understanding there is between a couple, there are bound to be times, when there would be differences and fights between them as well and both the partners would like to blame each other for the mess that gets created in their lives. However, couples need to understand that by blaming each other for the problems, they are only making things even worse for their relationship. Instead, they need to control their impulse to blame each other and try to work together to find an amicable solution for the problem. 

Below are the four steps which can help you in controlling your impulse to blame your partner for all your problems:

Realize the Pain That Will Be Caused By the Blame

The first thing that you need to do, every time you have an impulse to blame your partner for something wrong in your life, is to take a step back and try to think of the pain and hurt that your blame will inflict on your partner. You love your partner and even though in that moment you may not be thinking about him or her, later on, once your temper cools down, you would hate yourself for having caused that pain to the person who you love the most in the whole world. Therefore, to save your partner from the pain of the blame and yourself from the guilt of having caused this pain to your partner, you need to exercise patience at such times and stop yourself from blaming your partner for the problem. 

Be Aware Of Your Actions

Sometimes when we are really angry, we do not even realize what we are saying and doing. Therefore, it is possible that in your anger, you may end up saying or doing some things which would indirectly blame your partner. Therefore, when you feel frustrated about something, you need to immediately start taking note of all your actions and words and make sure that you do not end up saying or doing something which can spark a blame fight between you and your partner. 

Be Ready To Take Responsibility

In a marriage, it is not just the responsibility of one partner to make the relationship work. Both the partners are equally responsible and therefore, you cannot put the blame of any mess that happens in your life or in your relationship, completely on the shoulders of the other person. You need to be prepared to take responsibility for your share of the problem. Once you start to understand your mistakes and how patient your partner has been with you, it would become easier for you to forgive your partner for his or her faults and instead of blaming each other, try to work things out together. 


Communication is the perfect solution for all problems. Instead of shouting and blaming, try having a constructive conversation about the problem with your partner, you would find that this will solve half the problem for you. 


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