The knowledge that your partner was having an affair with someone is in itself quite shattering emotionally. And to top that, if you were to come to know that the feelings of your partner for the person he or she had an affair with were so intense that he or she was actually planning on leaving you, can only make things much worse between you and your spouse. Coping with this knowledge can be extremely difficult for any husband or wife. However, if you want your marriage to work, you need to find ways and means to deal with this knowledge and move forward in life.
Below are a few suggestions which can help you in dealing with such a situation in a much better manner:
Do Not Deny the Facts
Many people feel that if they ignore the situation or act like they are not aware if the facts relating to the affair of their spouse, they would be able to stay emotionally stronger. This is completely a big myth. Denial will not make you stronger, but in fact, it will make you emotionally a weaker person. You need to face the facts of life and accept that your husband or wife was in an affair with someone else. It is only after you have accepted this fact can you know which direction you want your life to take in the future and accordingly you start working on your relationship with your spouse.
Confirm That the Affair Is Over
For your marriage to work, you should be able to trust your spouse once again. Without mutual trust, there can be no healthy relationship between married couples. Trust is the most essential pillar for a successful marriage. Therefore, you need to make sure that the affair is over for certain and it will never come back again to haunt you and your marriage in the future. If your husband or your wife still has any feelings left for the other person, then no matter how hard you try, your marriage will never work. Hence, you need to make sure that the affair is over for good.
Let Past Not Affect Your Future
Once you have ascertained for yourself that the affair is over and have decided to give your marriage a second chance, you should leave the past in the past and move ahead. If you keep bringing up the past grievances in your future, you would only make the relationship between you and your spouse more strained. This will make it impossible for your relationship to work out and irrespective of the fact that your spouse cheats again in the future or not, still you might end up splitting up with him or her. Therefore, let bygones be bygones and move into the future with new hopes and dreams.
Dealing with an affair of a partner is not something that is easy to deal with, especially when you have given your 100% to the relationship. However, to make a marriage work, you need to learn to forgive, forget and move ahead in life.