After marriage you find new relations in form in in laws. They have a very important place in your spouse's life. So, they are related to you very crucially. They should never feel ignored or neglected. You may maintain an exemplary family harmony if you know the best dealing with in laws.
Here are a few ideas to make you strong in this area.
Define Your Limits
Your spouse the most trusted friend, advisor and guide in the life. Take his/her assistance in deciding the important issues and priorities of life. It may be related to family values, dinner and entertainment habit of children, family expenses etc. In setting the boundaries or limits, take special care of your strengths as well as shortcoming, influx and out flux of income and finances. Speak your limits to your in laws and let them know what you can do for them and the complete family.
You need to understand the difference careful listening and responding. It is highly important that you give a patient hearing to the say of your in laws. You may not work as per their desire but if don’t listen them and respond abruptly, you are going to spoil the relationships for no valid cause.
Resolve the Dispute with Your Spouse Alone
If for any reason, you and your spouse are not on the same track or in different pages of life-book, don’t indulge your in laws to make a resolution. Remind your mind and heart once again that whatever the amount of difference, both of you are going to spend the whole life together and hence, both of you will be the best mentor or guide for each other and not the parents in laws. One more thing is to be kept in mind that your parents are the in laws of your spouse. If you are no mood to listen the parents of your spouse, don’t let your parents speak to your spouse regarding any dispute between both of you. Even if, they come to know and give you a word of advice, turn it down by saying that both of you will sort out everything nicely. Mind it; this advice is not to break relations with your in laws or to ignore them, instead the intention is to make your relation with your spouse much strong without any outside interference.
You have got married and you would be parents in coming future, you will be parents too. So, be mature and responsible in your behavior. If your parents and in laws observe that you are capable to doing your things your own they will have minimal or nil saying in your affairs. Also, don’t disclose everything of your family and relations to your parents. Things will be different in both the families because of locations, cultures and traditions. Learn to accept new things and enjoy.
If you do this, both of your parents as well as in laws will be very happy and you will not face any trouble to deal with them. Your marriage relationship will be exemplary.