In every marriage, there are certain times when there is little or no communication at all. There could be several reasons including the events happened in past, feelings which were hurt intentionally or unintentionally and may be stubbornness on part of the spouses. This can be altered if one listens to the spouse in a different way and an expressive conversation to correct things which might have gone wrong in the relationship. Following are some points which may come handy to improve communication for a married person.
- One has to stop to focus on the mistakes of spouse and concentrate on how you can change the way of doing things for communication to improve in marriage.
- Usually, spouses have worst assumptions of interpretation of things; hence one should assume good intention of the spouse.
- You could keep aside 10 to 15 minutes every day speaking with your spouse regarding routine things.
- One should refrain from criticizing the spouse and be specific on matters which concern you.
- Try to apologize whenever required and be forgiving to the spouse for any faults. You should be responsible regarding own faults and behaviours while you work on improving the communication in the relationship.
- When you become upset, try to have a break as it is your own responsibility for calming yourself and returning.
- Your body language and tone should be proper as these must be in tandem with the message you want to communicate.
- One should talk to spouse with same kindness as one would to a colleague or friend.
- Ensure that you communicate regarding the positives present in your spouse. It is not necessary that you always mention the only things you wanted to be different.
- Make habit to complement your spouse for the good things done.
Apart from the above points, there are certain other things you should be concerned about:
- Avoid Shouting at Your Spouse:
When someone feels angry, there is likelihood of voice getting raised. Anger also causes creation of tension and one looks to the means to release it by shouting at the spouse. When in angry state, everything one says may escalate a situation due to negative emotions. Your emotions are required to be communicated in a manner which permits you to move ahead of them and not to get fuelled further.
- Keeping Your Emotions Under Control:
When you are able to keep the emotion under control, the message you want to convey can be put across easily. Your emotions could be crucial part of the situation but important point in the communication is clear understanding between spouses. Allow your feelings to settle down for a two way communication.
- Centering the Marriage on ’ We’ and not on ‘Me’:
It is natural to focus only on yourself, like what one look likes or what is there on schedule for you. But in a marriage, you have to take the viewpoint of your spouse into the consideration. The considerate behaviour could help to nurture a long and happy marriage.
Further, a couple may consider practicing to learn from mistakes made in past regarding communication and make relationship work in a happy marriage.