Human relationships are the most improvised and complex among all the living creatures. We have nurtured our core attributes of feelings and emotions to generate some excellent mechanisms of communication that forms the bedrock of the human societies and socio cultural amalgams around the world. However, simultaneously we also nurtured deep fancies for the unsought components like that of ego, jealousy, spilling and outstretched desires and lust among others. These are the negative functions of the inner self in every individual and when the tolerance buffer gets weak then the bad outcomes start to emerge.
The relations are the most vulnerable junctions where the damage starts to manifest. The passionate and cohesive relations like marriage witness maximum losses because of the close proximities and inability to tolerate. The relationship counselors have been recommending the ‘trial separation’ as the mechanism to deal with such issues. However, there has to be a frank acceptance of the facts that evolve there from and if the husband bluntly says that he never missed his wife then the chances of resurrections could get lost again and the relationship could get into the doldrums.
Who should have the trial separation?
Generally such type of counseling is offered to the couples that are either having too much of verbal duels with each other or where there has emerged a type of sorrowful silence. The first case of duels between the husband and wife depict the poor tolerance towards each other’s behavior patterns and lifestyles and this condition is a distant contrast with the normal husband wife tussles that occur and are patched up also. The second condition of ‘silence’ marks the heavy and grave communication gap that is more dangerous because the mode of resurrection is lost here. The verbal communication is always required and here the ego stands in between the husband and wife.
Ego could be hindering the acceptances by the husband
A trial separation of the husband and wife could fetch good results, because in this period both get time to think of the good moments that they have spent together in the past and these thoughts could offer the way to a healthy marital life. It is here that the new beginning is seeded. But care should be taken & neither of the two should present them as not feeling the warmth for each other. Women often complain that their husband instead of realizing the appeal within for her never accepted the same. Such a behavior points to the excessive ego element that has not been washed away during the period of separation; no wonder ego is something that is highly penetrative and least vulnerable to the new attempts!
Psychologists have pointed out that the feminine nature is more receptive to newness and fresh starts due to the better socialization quotients. They are ready to accept the new things early than the male counterparts who carry a greater bulk of personal ego. However, wise ladies know this fact and could understand the clues. It is very much possible in many cases (though not all) that the husband is ready to make the fresh start but is shying to make a clear declaration. Such opportunity should not be therefore missed!