While the marriage is regarded as holy union of two souls, but there are circumstance when the love, trust and mutual respect is brutally dishonored by the couple. This is happens when the spouses start an element of secrecy between them.
One partner is highly shocked when he knows that something was going on behind his/her back and it could be revealed never by the other. While it is better to respect the individual difference and privacy, but the secrecy cause the relationship to be thorny.
Positive Side of Secrecy
The couple carries out some activities very secretly and all of these don’t have negative values and bad impact in married life. For example, secretly buying a ticket for holiday trip, planning an evening out or arranging birthday party without the knowledge of other partner necessarily result in stronger relations. Actually the motive behind these secrets are the mutual care and thinking for the other partner and his happiness. In true sense, these are not called the secrets but the surprises.
Is Privacy Harmful for Relations
The privacy of a spouse can never be harmful for a solid marriage. A spouse may maintain privacy in the matters of hobby or entertainment activities. It may be so due to different interests, hobbies or both the partners. For example, one partner may be a writer of stories, novels etc. or a poet and he would like to do these activities in his private time and no interference by the other person, even his/her spouse. These types of activity performed alone and in privacy enhance the strength of relations.
Is Secrecy Harmful?
The secrecy, when one partner actually started cheating the other, has the potential of wreaking havoc to a rock solid marriage too. This is done by actions or beliefs of hiding something from other partner deliberately. These may be related to extra-marital affairs, use of drugs or alcohols etc. These activities erode trust and ultimately create situations in difficult for the couples depart from each other emotionally. The partner, who started cheating, creates a false persona to hide the things from the other partner. He/she tries to create a mask of faithfulness or sometimes extra caring to other partner. But in fact, he/she does the act of betrayal, insecurity and vulnerability in the relationship.
The secrecy is maintained by the person purposefully in order to keep the things concealed and mislead the other partner. The reasons are the fear of disapproval of the partner or conflicts arising when discovered.
But the matters can’t be hidden for long. After some time the other partner gets the first sign of cheating behavior when he/she find the trace a phone number in his telephone bills. When keeps a track a cell phone of his/her spouse and finds that it belongs to the person none from the relations, he/she is naturally shocked and find betrayed. There may other instances of secrecy between the partners, but all result in ruin of the relationship. A partner, who is betrayed in marriage, may never recover from its wrong impacts.