Infidelity in a marriage is considered the most devastating and cited as a deal break for a couple. It can lead to either emotional pain and physical abuse or sometimes both, after an affair. It is surprising to learn that most of the married couples decide to weather the pain together rather than splitting up. But, the lost trust is not rebuilt overnight or within days. The courage to forgive is not so easy and not available to many people too. It is important to understand that to rebuild trust after an affair, equal effort must be shown on either side.
The process of rebuilding
It is possible to reconcile for the couple after an affair. There is definitely no particular way to rebuild trust after an affair. Accepting the accountability on one side should be supported by taking the risk on the other side. But, the feeling to save marriage is the connecting line.
Stop lying and be honest
Once the cheating partner decides to reconcile the broken relation, it is important to stop lying, twisting the trust, denying and hiding. The partner should be stubborn enough to face the challenge and help to build the trust after an affair. Hiding any truth from the spouse shall only lead to further devastation to the already broken relationship.
End the affair openly and clearly
Be brave and end the affair openly and make it clear to the spouse and the cheating partner. Else, this extra marital relation shall keep denting the marriage and it will be extremely difficult to save your marriage.
Answer the questions and end it for once
It is important to answer all the questions posed by the betrayed partner because she or he wishes to connect the missing dots and doubts faced all the while. And all the questions should be answered else you are putting the relation in a grave risk.
Wait till the partner rebuilds trust
It is not an overnight task to rebuild trust after an affair. Even the kindest people cannot accept such a misdeed. The cheating partner needs to wait and be patient till the betrayed partner starts believing. Their mood swings, sudden bursts of pain, food and health changes can be so disturbing, but need to be considered and waited.
Be around to be heard
The betrayed partner wants to express their pain and emotions and the cheating partner should make himself available, both emotionally and physically. Be there to answer the unending questions and patient since the questions are repeating. They continue to question themselves as ‘how can I save my marriage’.
Make your partner feel at the top
The betrayed partner should again feel the appreciation and special feeling they had felt prior. Show them how much you love them and make sure to tell other people that your partner is very important.
Avoid hurting them further at any consequence
Any further salt to the existing wounds can bring in devastating effects. Avoid prioritizing your friends or other family members, do not appreciate the attractiveness of others, avoid sensitive topics related to privacy and possessiveness etc.