Though Love is an essential element of any human relationship, but it is not encouraged before marriage in Haryanvi tradition. A relationship between couple is recognized only after traditional marriage in Haryana state of India. The concept of dating is not accepted as norm in the Jat society which takes pride in following rigid customs so far as relationships are concerned.
- Various Traditions in Haryanvi Marriage:
In Haryanvi Jat society all have equal status in spite of difference in financial conditions. The girl and boy from the same gotra do not enter in to marriage as per Vedic Aryans tradition followed by the Jats. They give preference to get wedded in their own community. The groom and bride never come from the same village in a Haryanvi Marriage. The remarriage of the widows is an acceptable norm in Jat community. The elders are respected and all proposals are taken ahead only after their opinion is taken into consideration.
- Various Haryanvi Wedding Rituals
The Vedic rituals are followed while solemnizing the wedding in Jat community and the rituals have been developed over the period of time. The wedding ceremonies are vibrant and go on for many days since Jats consider marriage as very important occasion. In rituals prior to wedding, the engagement ceremony known as ‘Sagai’ is conducted. The family elders decide selection of bride and groom based on the reputation of family, property owned by families and the status of their health. It is followed by ‘Anguthi Pahanana’ or the ring ceremony in which bride's home is visited by the groom and his family members. In this, an engagement ring is presented to the bride by the groom who denotes marriage agreement.
- Different Formalities of Haryanvi Marriage Procedure
As in many other part of India, the weddings in Haryana have been following a cultural and traditional mix throughout the ages. The Haryanvi people follow their festivals and ceremonies with enthusiasm and pride. The different formalities are done during the course of the a Haryanvi marriage procedure which are traditionally called Bhat nutana, Ban baihana, Pithi lagana, Banori, Ratijka and several others. These rituals start almost one month prior to wedding and involve both families. These traditional Jat procedures continue till Barat Nikasi or wedding party farewell and continue even after that, at the groom’s house in the form of post-wedding rituals culminating in a happy marriage.
While waiting for the bridegroom to arrive with his new bride at home, a Haryanvi dance known as Khoria is performed by the woman folks in the family, who mime the whole marriage ceremony till the arrival of the wedding party.
These happy marriages bond the couples in the satisfying and long lasting interactive relationships. These have discussions on the various issues related to married life and timely solutions. An occasional intervention by the elders in the family and community is also sought for resolution of issues in Jat society. Discussion of family matters in public is considered a taboo and married persons are encouraged to approach elders in Jat families.